

Pen Pal Introductions 101: Make Friends, Not Red Flags
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: your introduction pen pal letter decides your fate. Write it well, and you’ll gain a thoughtful human who sends interesting letters. Write it poorly, and your message vanishes into the void, never to be seen again. No pressure.
This guide breaks down exactly what to include in an introduction pen pal letter—clearly, practically, and with just enough dry humor to keep things civilized.
What an Introduction Pen Pal Letter Is (and Isn’t)
An introduction pen pal letter is a friendly first impression. Think “meeting someone at a coffee shop”, not “delivering a TED Talk about your entire life.”
It is:
- A brief snapshot of who you are
- An invitation to conversation
- A foundation for future letters
It is not:
- A résumé
- A diary entry
- A confession booth
If your letter feels like it needs content warnings, scale back.
Start With a Normal Greeting
Open politely. Warmly. Like a human who understands social norms.
Good options:
- “Hi there!”
- “Hello from Texas!”
- “Hey future pen pal!”
Avoid:
- “Dear Sir or Madam”
- “To Whom It May Concern”
- Anything that sounds like legal correspondence
Example:
Hi there!
I hope your day is going well.
Simple works. Always.
Introduce Yourself (Briefly and Painfully Normal)
This is where you share the basics. Not your entire origin story.
Include:
- Your first name (or nickname)
- Where you’re from
- One or two personal details
Optional:
- Age (helpful, not mandatory)
Example:
My name is Cat, and I live in the U.S. I’m a student, a writer, and someone who owns far too many notebooks for one person.
You’ve now introduced yourself without alarming anyone.
Share a Few Interests (Curated, Not Complete)
You don’t need to list every hobby you’ve ever tried. Choose interests that:
- Actually matter to you
- Give your pen pal something to respond to
Aim for 3–5 interests.
Example:
I enjoy writing fiction, journaling, crocheting, and spending time outdoors camping or fishing. I also have several pets who believe they are in charge.
Notice how this creates openings for conversation without oversharing.
Explain Why You Want a Pen Pal
This part builds trust. People want to know why you’re writing.
Be honest, calm, and non-dramatic.
Example:
I’m looking for a pen pal because I enjoy thoughtful letters and getting to know people through writing rather than quick messages.
That’s it. No manifesto required.
Set Gentle Expectations
This helps avoid awkward misunderstandings later.
Mention:
- Rough writing frequency
- Letter length preference (short or long)
- Flexibility (because life exists)
Example:
I usually write once or twice a month and tend to send longer letters, but I’m flexible and understand that life gets busy.
Translation: you are reasonable and emotionally stable. Huge win.
Ask a Few Open-Ended Questions
If you don’t ask questions, your pen pal has to do all the conversational labor. That’s rude. Don’t be rude.
Ask 3–5 open-ended questions.
Good examples:
- What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
- What kind of things do you like writing about?
- What’s something small that makes you happy lately?
Avoid yes/no questions unless you enjoy dead-end conversations.
End Politely (No Dramatic Exit)
Close your letter warmly and optimistically. No pressure. No guilt.
Example:
Thanks for taking the time to read my letter. I hope to hear from you soon.
Then sign your name. First name is perfect.
A Final Reality Check
A good introduction pen pal letter doesn’t try to impress. It tries to connect.
Be:
- Clear
- Friendly
- Honest
You don’t need to be fascinating. You just need to sound like someone worth writing back to. And if all else fails, remember: fewer red flags, more friendliness. That’s the whole strategy.
