Copyright © 2025 by Anton Heft

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or

transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,

photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission

from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or

distribute it by any other means without permission.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents

portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to

actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

Anton Heft asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction, rooted in real emotions, real struggles, and real

experiences, but the events, characters, and timelines have been altered,

blended, and fictionalized for storytelling purposes. Names have been

changed, locations modified, and certain people combined into single

characters. Some parts are exaggerated, others trimmed down, and many

have been reordered from how they actually happened.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is coincidental, unless

explicitly stated otherwise by me. Even when a character is clearly based on

someone real, their portrayal in this book is filtered through my perspective,

memory, and imagination. That means it’s my version, not necessarily the

whole picture, or the only perspective.

This story is not meant to shame, slander, or defame anyone. People change,

grow, mess up and sometimes come through in ways no one expects. If you

recognize yourself in these pages and feel misrepresented, know that wasn’t

my goal. My intent is to be honest about my life, not to villainize anyone else’s.

That said, this is my story, and I have every right to tell it how I choose.

First edition

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Dedication

To Toby,

My little shadow, my best friend, and the reason I kept getting up when life kept trying to take me out. You saw me broken and still believed I could be something better. I hope this story helps you see just how much you mean to me and how proud I am of you.

To Anton Jr,

My firstborn and namesake. I know that I wasn’t the father you needed me to be when you needed me the most. I live with that regret, every day. This story is part of me trying to make things right. I’m sorry.