I grabbed my passport and my whole life in three suitcases, a plain black one, bright purple to not get lost and my favorite blue jeep backpack that has accompanied me on adventures for the past 16 years. "That will be $240." the flight clerk smiled. What happened to free baggage on flights, I thought to myself. Why do we pay for the ticket and then bags and then seats on top of the original price? Fuck it who cares. I'm leaving the mainland and all the craziness behind. Politics, wages, housing, violence, drugs, the endless bombardment of a life I choose not to live. I choose no more craziness. Covid was enough but this. THIS is craziness. "Here's your card back." the young peppy lady smiled. I start doing the math in my head of how much money that leaves me once arriving on Kauai.

I've never been to Kauai before or even off the mainland. I've never flown for more than two hours. In fact, I haven't flown for years. Upon boarding the flight from Denver, things have definitely changed in the flying world. My body has definitely changed how it fits in this tiny seat. We have not kept up with Emirate Air, China or Japan. They show bedroom suites with your own tv, little bed, blankets and room to stretch out. Nope this is squeeze you in as tight as possible and don't move or you might elbow the person next to you or kick the person in front of you. Have you ever watched those romantic movies where the person just bumps into someone on the plane and their life is changed forever? I scan as I approach my seat and it's a nope, nope, hell no, ooo possibility and then back to nope, nope, nope. Hundreds of people and not a single vibe. Maybe next flight, I think to myself as I try to fall asleep, not really wanting to fall asleep, because I'm in the middle seat and I snore. I'm sure my head would end up on someone's shoulders at some point. Maybe I can convince my body to feel like it's asleep but not really asleep. All the people sitting by the window seats, pull their shades down. Ok why do you pay for a window seat and then close the blind so you can't see? Isn't flying supposed to be about seeing what's out there? When did it become so boring people just close the blinds? One sheep two sheep three sheep....next flight.

This flight is 7 hours. A true test of patience in the middle seat. The confinement, I go back to my fire training in enclosed places exercise. Breath, relax, it will be over in 7 hours. Ten sheep, 11 sheep. "Would you like something to drink?" the stewardess asks. "Yes please! Coke with ice." I replied. She hands me the drink and then what looks like a dog biscuit. I look at it confused. Same shape and color. It's a graham cracker cookie. Gone are the days of a full meal or even peanuts and pretzels. Dog biscuit. Lowering the tray for the drink, snugs you in nice and tight. Moving is literally not an option at this point. I finish my drink put head back and count 20 sheep, 21 sheep, 22, 23....damn! I catch my head falling to the left and apologize to the person next to me, who I just became way too cozy. "Did I start snoring?" I asked praying to god I hadn't, but I knew I had. The young man next to me laughed and said, "Just a little." "I'm so sorry." I replied. "It's ok made me laugh." He replied.

I watch a movie for the rest of the flight bound and determined not to go to sleep. Finally upon approach people start opening the shades. I have never seen anything so blue and as far as the eye can see on both sides. Nothing but blue. No land. We are not in Kansas anymore Dorothy. No we are not and I don't swim. What the hell am I doing?