How to Tell If Your Neighbor Is a Werewolf

Let’s get this out of the way: statistically, your neighbor is probably not a werewolf. Statistically, most people are not secretly cursed shape-shifters bound to lunar cycles. And yet. History, folklore, and your neighbor’s extremely suspicious relationship with the full moon suggest you shouldn’t rule it out entirely.

This article exists to help you tell the difference between “eccentric night person” and “lycanthrope with a mortgage.” Using folklore, historical accounts, and a dash of grim common sense, let’s break it down.

A Brief, Unfortunate History of Werewolves

Werewolves don’t come from nowhere. The concept of lycanthropy dates back to ancient Greece, with the story of King Lycaon—a man who committed several crimes against both humanity and hospitality laws before Zeus turned him into a wolf as punishment. This set a long-standing precedent: werewolves are usually created through curses, divine wrath, or extremely poor judgment.

Medieval Europe expanded on this idea. Werewolves were often believed to be humans who:

• Made deals with dark forces
• Used cursed pelts or salves
• Were punished for moral transgressions
• Or simply lived too close to forests and made everyone uncomfortable

So if your neighbor gives off “ancient curse energy,” history says that’s not nothing.

Sign One: Lunar Awareness That Feels Excessive

Folklore across cultures links werewolves to the full moon—not because the moon creates the condition, but because it triggers it. Historically, the moon symbolized loss of control, revelation, and the exposure of hidden truths.

Red flags include:

• Tracking lunar cycles without being an astronomer
• Canceling plans “for personal reasons” once a month
• Becoming visibly tense as the full moon approaches

If they say, “I just don’t sleep well during full moons,” that’s fine. If they say it while locking all their doors from the outside, that’s less fine.

Sign Two: Heightened Senses (or So They Claim)

Traditional lore holds that werewolves retain animalistic traits even in human form. This includes enhanced hearing, smell, and reflexes.

Watch for:

• Complaints about sounds no one else hears
• Strong reactions to perfumes, smoke, or food smells
• Startling easily, then pretending they didn’t

Modern science would call this sensory sensitivity. Folklore would call it the wolf peeking through. Either way, it makes dinner parties awkward.

Sign Three: Silver Is a Problem

Silver has long been associated with purity, protection, and divine authority. In folklore, it is harmful to werewolves not because it’s shiny, but because it symbolically rejects corruption and curses.

Indicators:

• Avoidance of silver jewelry
• Insistence on stainless steel or plastic utensils
• Physical discomfort around silver objects

Claiming a “metal allergy” is reasonable. Claiming it while breaking out in burns is… less so.

Sign Four: Clothing That Suggests Contingency Plans

Historical accounts of transformation were very clear on one thing: clothing does not survive the process.

Modern werewolves—if they exist—would logically adapt.

Suspicious wardrobe habits include:

• Exclusively loose or layered clothing
• A refusal to wear belts, rings, or fitted shoes
• Jackets everywhere, regardless of season

This may also indicate commitment to comfort. Or preparedness for spontaneous limb growth. Context matters.

Sign Five: Animals React Before You Do

Animals feature heavily in werewolf folklore because they’re believed to sense predators instinctively.

Pay attention if:

• Dogs whine, bark, or refuse to approach
• Cats stare with visible judgment
• Birds scatter when your neighbor walks by

Animals don’t care about social norms. If something feels wrong, they will let everyone know—loudly.

Should You Do Anything About It?

No. Absolutely not.

Historically, confronting a suspected werewolf ends poorly for everyone involved. Accusations lead to denial, violence, curses, or being remembered in local folklore as “that one person who disappeared.”

If your neighbor is a werewolf, chances are they’re just trying to live quietly, pay bills, and not accidentally destroy the recycling bins once a month.

And if they’re not?

Then congratulations—you’ve simply learned that humans are strange, the moon messes with people more than we admit, and your neighborhood has character.

Which, frankly, is still unsettling.

Sleep well. And maybe invest in sturdier trash cans. 🌕