The next morning, Juniper sat at her office desk, trying to decide how best to describe the disaster that was her date with Todd without outright calling it a disaster. She typed: “When ‘Tim’—name changed to protect the guilty—suggested an ugly sweater contest as part of our date, I didn’t think much of it.” Juniper leaned back, suppressing a groan. “How do I make this sound charming instead of tragic?”