When It Feels Like Everyone Else Is Getting Their Break

There are days when it seems like everyone else is getting their break.

Someone announces a new role. Someone signs with a publisher. Someone's film gets into a festival. Someone lands representation. Someone gets the opportunity they've been working toward for years.

And you are happy for them.

You really are.

Then somewhere underneath that happiness, another feeling appears.

When is it going to be my turn?

I think this is one of those parts of the creative journey we don't talk about enough. We talk about rejection. We talk about perseverance. We talk about believing in ourselves and celebrating the success of others.

We don't talk nearly as much about what someone else's success can stir inside us.

Because creatives have so many internal conversations.

Am I worthy?

Am I good enough?

Can I really do this?

Why am I not further along?

Have I waited too long?

Am I working hard enough?

Am I working on the right things?

What if this never happens for me?

And sometimes those conversations can stop us in our tracks.

The Other Side of the Creative Mind

The very things that make us perfect for the art we serve can also make the journey complicated.

Creative people notice things.

We feel things.

We imagine possibilities. We make connections. We pay attention to subtleties. We reach into ourselves and pull out emotions, memories, ideas, questions and experiences, then somehow turn them into stories, performances, paintings, music, films, photographs, dances, designs and worlds.

That sensitivity serves the work.

But it doesn't disappear when the work is finished.

We notice when someone else's career moves.

We notice when an opportunity opens for somebody else.

We notice when someone who started after us suddenly seems to be further ahead.

And because we're storytellers, sometimes we start creating a story about what that means.

Maybe I'm not talented enough.

Maybe I've missed my opportunity.

Maybe everybody else knows something I don't.

Maybe I'm never going to get there.

The imagination that can create extraordinary things can be remarkably talented at creating evidence against us, too.

I Can Be Happy for You and Still Want It for Me

This one is important.

You can genuinely celebrate another person's success and still feel something about your own journey.

Those feelings do not cancel each other out.

I can be thrilled that you got the role and still wish someone would give me my opportunity.

I can celebrate your book deal while wondering when someone will notice my work.

I can applaud your announcement and quietly think:

God, I want that too.

That doesn't automatically make the feeling jealousy.

Sometimes it is simply longing.

And perhaps instead of immediately judging ourselves for that feeling, we should become curious about it.

Why did this particular thing affect me?

Why did that announcement make me question where I am?

Why does this opportunity, out of all the opportunities I see other people receive, make something ache inside me?

There may be something useful hiding in the answer.

The Questions Are Clues

What are the questions we face each day?

What are the things that challenge us?

What causes us to wrestle with ourselves, second-guess ourselves or lose confidence in the direction we're going?

I've been thinking about those questions differently lately.

Maybe they aren't necessarily negative things.

Maybe they're clues.

If watching someone reach a particular level in their career makes me uncomfortable, perhaps the answer isn't to scold myself for comparing.

Maybe I need to ask why.

Perhaps the answer is:

Because I want to work at that level.

That's information.

Maybe a collaboration suddenly frustrates me in a way it didn't before.

Why?

Because I need something different from the people I create with now.

That's information.

Maybe something I've been doing for years suddenly exhausts me.

Why?

Because the way I've been doing it no longer fits the person I've become.

That's information too.

We don't have to obey every emotion that crosses our minds. Feelings can be temporary. They can be influenced by exhaustion, disappointment, fear and a thousand other things.

But that doesn't mean we have to dismiss them either.

Sometimes our emotions are pointing toward questions we haven't been willing to ask.

Find the Clarity Beneath the Noise

The key, I think, is finding a place of clarity around who you are and what you seek.

That sounds simple.

It isn't.

Creative careers rarely follow straight lines. Sometimes we're building the road while we're walking on it.

But there are questions we can return to.

Who am I as a creative?

What do I actually want?

What kind of work do I want to make?

What kind of people do I want to make it with?

What does success mean to me?

What am I building toward?

Why does this matter enough that I keep coming back?

When we have some clarity around those answers, someone else's path becomes less threatening.

Their success may still stir something.

Good.

Listen to it.

Maybe it's showing you something you want.

Maybe it's revealing something you've outgrown.

Maybe it's reminding you of an ambition you've been afraid to admit.

Maybe it's telling you that you need to change direction.

Or maybe, underneath all the questions and frustration, it's telling you something remarkably simple:

I still want this.

When You Don't Know How

And sometimes that's all the clarity you're going to get.

You may know exactly what you want and have absolutely no idea how you're going to get there.

That's part of this too.

There isn't always a beautiful answer waiting at the end of an afternoon of reflection.

Sometimes the truth is:

I want this badly.

I haven't figured out how to get there.

And I'm still going.

Maybe that's enough for today.

You don't have to know exactly how the door will open to keep walking toward it.

You don't have to pretend the waiting doesn't hurt.

And you certainly don't have to turn someone else's breakthrough into proof that yours isn't coming.

Instead, take a look at whatever their success stirred inside you.

Ask the uncomfortable questions.

Listen for the clues.

Find whatever piece of clarity is available to you.

And then return to your work.

Because sometimes keeping your creative spark alive isn't about feeling endlessly confident or inspired.

Sometimes it's simply remembering, in the middle of all the noise:

This is who I am.

This is what I want.

And I'm still here.

**

Thank you for spending a little time at The Creative Leader’s Edge.

I believe creativity is more than something we make. It is part of how we think, how we lead, and how we imagine what comes next.

What did this idea bring up for you? I welcome your thoughts, experiences, and perspectives. If something here resonated, please follow, subscribe, and share it with another creative spirit finding their way forward.

Continue the journey with The Creative Leader’s Edge Explore the book and discover the Creative Leadership Archetypes, Elemental Energies, Action Avatars, Power Ups, Debuffs, and tools designed to help you better understand how you create, lead, and grow.

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