Through My Own Eyes

“The Weight of Growing Up Too Fast”

I think a lot about who I am today — and how I became this version of myself. I didn’t grow up the best way. I mean, I was still a kid, but I went through enough to know what it means to grow up too fast.

I’m only twenty-one, and I already have a career in the military. I’m trying to build more — to share my ideas, to find new ways to make money, to create something bigger than just survival. Maybe that’s what this is all about.

When I look back, I still see some good moments. The nights spent riding bikes with friends, going to prom, learning how to talk to girls — the normal, innocent stuff that reminded me I was still a kid, even if life was forcing me to act older than I was.

Now, I have my own apartment. I live with my girlfriend. I’m figuring out what it really means to share a space, to build something with someone else. But sometimes I catch myself wondering — is this who I am, or who I’m trying to be?

I’m constantly making sure the bills are paid, that she’s taken care of, that I keep moving forward. It’s hard work, but that’s all I know. I’ve always been in survival mode. Maybe that’s why I’m good with my words — because I’ve had to express myself in ways people could feel, even if they couldn’t understand.

I want this space, this blog, to be more than just my story. I want it to be a place for anyone who’s ever felt like they had to grow up too fast — who still feels like they’re fighting every day to keep up. Maybe it’s my way of saying you’re not alone. Maybe it’s my way of reminding myself of that too.

Survival mode has shaped me. I don’t hate it — it’s helped me become who I am. But sometimes, it feels like it won’t let me rest. Like a shadow that keeps me from slowing down, from fully enjoying the moment.

Maybe that’s why I’m here — to finally slow down enough to see life for what it is, to find peace in my own story. And maybe, through my own eyes, I’ll start to understand what it really means to live.

This is who I am. I’m not trying to be anything perfect or out of reach. I go through the same struggles as everyone else — trying to make ends meet, trying to figure out what comes next, trying to grow into someone I can respect. I want to build a better version of myself, and yeah, part of that means growing financially too. Not out of greed, but out of the hope that stability might finally give me space to breathe. I’m learning that growth isn’t just about surviving — it’s about finding balance, building peace, and still believing that better is possible.