What is it that you do to me? 

I need to know what this feeling is

Is it love? Or is it lust?

Maybe it's another feeling, 

Anger could be  

Though what is there to be mad about? 

To sit here and think about?

You treat me the same, like nothing ever changed

Maybe it didn’t 

Well for you it didn’t 

Of course it did for me though 

I can only change.

Because you have an ever-strong power over women 

And im just another weak girl who fell for your easy games

Never could I comprehend that I would be considered as one  

Falling into your game.

You see what you want and you get it 

That's the way it is, isn't it?  

Even if it took you a little longer with me

You still got me.

You got me and now im here

Everyone told me it was going to be like this 

I should have listened but it was fun not to 

Of course it was

Though there was no ending where I would be happy 

Because I have too many feelings and you have too little.

Maybe it's because you have someone else

Someone else who you are focused on, who you want to be with 

And I am happy for you, some little part of me actually is 

I want you to be, and so even though it kills me a little, 

I still am for you.

People will say im stupid, that they knew it 

There’s no point in feeling the way I do because your not worth it 

I'm not saying that you are,

I know your not

But im still here, still not leaving, still stuck on the “what if”

Which seems to be my favourite thing to think about.

What if you came into my room and told me you're done with her because you want to be with me?

What if you told me how you have loved me since you met me? 

What if you said how you only want to be with me?

What if your brain is consumed with the thought of me and every emotion I bring out of it?

What if you loved me too.

Where would we go then? 

Things with us have no way to end well 

Would you stare at another across the room? 

Would you text someone else through the night?

Would you hold another as if you were each others? 

I would be the one caught staring. 

The saying would stand true 

How it never works 

I would have to defend you to everyone even though I know, again, 

They were right.

You have a wandering eye

I know because I have been the thing it looks at

Stares at as you move across the room 

Draws your attention, causing jealousy of a person 

A person that is forbidden. 

So you stare and watch 

As I feel your eyes and guide them all through my night 

The eyes may move for a moment 

Though they always come back 

Focused, on something they can only see

Never touch.

I bathe in the feeling of being the one that is looked at 

Never wanting the eyes to turn away 

A sense that is forever craved

But not when I know, 

I would be on the other side this time.

So now im back 

In a loop where I sit in my room and stare at the ceiling wondering if you are doing the same 

If you are as trapped in the thought of me as much as I am consumed with the thought of you 

It won’t benefit me if you are

In fact it could make it worse

I shouldn’t know what you are thinking 

Only envy and pain would be brought. 

I have too much to think about what that could truly mean 

Where we would go from there 

Though there's no point in spiraling about it

An idea that could never come to fruition 

If you loved me too.

Would you treat me the same way you treated the others? 

Would you care for me any more? 

Would I get any ounce of treatment different because maybe I am the one this time? 

No strength in my own pain. 

But then again im back to where I was

Everyone is always the one with you 

And im here watching you change your mind 

Go in and out as if they mean nothing to you 

As if I mean nothing to you. 

So maybe we are better off as friends

As we are now 

Because I could be an important person in your life still 

Just not the one I want to be.