Loving you is like attending high school,

No one told me the longer you stay,

The more drama I would encounter.

That it's a love-hate relationship,

That promises it's love, but it really is hate.

That it's a commitment to early mornings,

Despite pulling all-nighters... every night.

That it's “trying to be a good kid”

But coming off as a teacher's pet,

And if you relax too much,

You're lazy and not trying hard enough.

It's a hint of a bright future,

But realizing you didn't care.

It's like throwing a foreign exchange student,

Into all AP classes, sitting separated from friends.

It's failing the class,

Despite never missing an assignment.

It's like being sent to the principal's office,

For something you didn't do.

It's crying over a broken heart or home,

And being told to “just focus on your studies.”

Loving you is like,

Having a sub on the first day,

Only to realize the original teacher,

Is just as lost as you with the subject.

It's like being absent on a Friday,

Only to return to a test on Monday.

It's like choosing Spanish class and getting German,

Because “the classes are too full”...

Loving you is expecting you to be there,

Hoping for support and unconditional love,

Only to get a detached, distant parent.

How am I supposed to grow,

Into an adult you can be proud of,

When you're the childish half of the pair assigned at birth?

Loving you is,

Trying to fill shoes “you'll grow into,”

But never end up fitting.

Loving you...

Is knowing my limits.

Knowing that you won't ever understand,

The hurt that came from your actions,

The hurt that follows watching you change on us,

And maturing to the idea,

That you will never be the same.

Loving you is watching you from afar,

Dreading the day you become the parent I remember,

For someone else,

Or dreading when you're not there to watch anymore.

I guess loving you,

Really is like attending high school,

You love it until you don't,

And knowing that hurts...

But I've graduated now and realized...

You were held back for a few years,

But that doesn't change the fact,

That I would rather be absent,

Than watch you give a tour to the new transfer student.