

What Is Age Regression To Me?


Being a person who is an age regressor is difficult. There are feelings of shame or embarrassment around every rounded corner. Things that you enjoy as a little are frequently looked down upon by others who may not have the same background as you, or those who simply don't understand. As well as the fact that somewhere in my mind/heart it feels slightly wrong to play with toys, color, and watch children's movies/shows all while in a child-like state. Which, yes, it may not be completely ordinary or "normal", but, it is something that helps the niche group of people who experience or understand it. It's extra strange for me because I am a parent also. With that being said, I have scheduled "Little Time" for myself to maintain a routine for myself and my inner child. The time I have set for this is the two hours following when my son falls asleep. I use this time to allow my inner child to explore (Littlespace), and do whatever she wants to do, because she was never allowed.
some things that I do to allow myself to regress and feel little are coloring in my coloring books, watching my favorite cartoons, playing with my toys, or sensory play (play-doh, slime, putty... etc)
Right now my favorite coloring book is my jumbo Hello Kitty one that I got at the dollar store or the newest one that I got after an eye doctor appointment which is like kawaii foods and desserts and things of that manner. I have a lot of favorite shows and they are all over the map, honestly. I love the Hello Kitty show(s), My Little Pony, the Littlest Pet Shops show, Strawberry Shortcake, the OG Barbie princess movies, and Bluey. I can't think of any more right now. My favorite toys are probably my fidget toys (specifically pop-its or "picky pads"), or the unicorns I recently bought that came with some hair accessories. It's a whole family of unicorns and it makes me happy. The next toy I want to get myself is going to either be Hello Kitty-themed or a tea-party set. I also got a new fluffy cloud slime that smells like lemon, and that also makes me happy because the smell reminds me of my nanny's cleaning agent she used for dusting when I was little. She was the only one who would ever let me play and be myself and she passed away when I was younger.
The reason my age regressing is so important to my trauma recovery is because my childhood was dangerous and unsafe, and now that I am safe, I deserve to experience the happy memories and fun things that I was deprived of as a little girl. I get to go back mentally to before all the hurt and re-live it again, but safely. It means a lot to me that my partner is super supportive of it all too. He watches me color and when I'm done and I show him, he tells me how good of a job I did. I don't even have to tell him when I'm in littlespace because he already knows, and he'll grab my communication cards for me, because often when I'm in this mindset, I am also non-verbal or I talk very little.
Anyways, that's all the information and input I have today. In conclusion, littlespace is good if you have the right support. You can be a little without a caregiver and it's still valid. You are safe here, you are understood here and all your feelings are valid. Remember, it's not your fault.
XOXO, Bunny