I wish,

I wish to be like all the other kids.

I wish to be normal.

I am tired of carrying the universe in my mind and go on pretending it doesn't hurt.

I wish to have perfect, clear thighs that have no ladder-like lines across them, rows and rows of them to last you forever.

I hate how some mornings, these bed sheets are the heaviest things in the world and I just don't want to get up.

I hate how nights are a battle to get through, not knowing whether i’ll wake up.

I wish to have the power to turn down every bad day, and ignore them. 

I wish to have the power to focus on what is wrong and move on.

I wish to have the power to focus on the things that have gone right, and be positive.

But I dont have that power, and it feels like I never will, because it’s like I am fucking drowning.

I am drowning and no one can see me, no one can save me from this nightmare I can’t wake up from. 

I'm confined to these four walls in silence that's louder than a crowd of obnoxious teenagers. 

I want out. I don’t want to be confined. I don't want to drown anymore. 

I just want to be normal.