The awakening of my true identity wasn’t exactly gentle. The questions that

permeated my existence grew louder and I knew that some type of response that

obtained a depth I have not yet explored within myself, was now being demanded not

requested. Here’s a bad analogy, for a lack of a better one. Have you ever tried to stop

a sneeze? They build up in a matter of seconds, with no other warning other than a few

seconds, and the fact is, you're not going to stop that sneeze, it’s coming whether you

like it or not. All you can do is try and quickly find a tissue and let it blow. The build up is

a feeling that you recognize right away, there's no doubt you're about to sneeze, and if

you do try and stop it, it’s painful to your ears, and much less satisfying than if you were

to let the natural process happen. If you could slow down the process of an oncoming

sneeze, into a time lapse sort of concept, this is how the process of transformation

began in stage one, the loud thoughts that invaded my head, I could not stop them, I

had to let them blow.

I reached a point in my life where I had an emotional overload, I was

overwhelmed with despair, the life I had taken for granted, was being stripped from me,

and it was dissolving fast. Everything that gave my life meaning, my soul was being

ripped from my heart, this profound consequence left me with the deepest darkest

hatred for myself, and this tsunami of failure that i could no longer blame anyone but

myself for, was full of karmic debris and let me tell you, this was my very own personal

cataclysm. I was engulfed in this experience, in desperation and sorrow I pleaded for a way for God to let my heart show that my love will move mountains, it has to. I prayed for Jesus, to see the reflection of my love as his father has for him, and me not to let me suffer, I begged to bring purpose to this pain that I had created for myself. This was my first step to my transformation. 

It was hot outside, I was in a tent, alone, emotionally drained, I was done. There

was finally silent, my head had been filled with regret as big as the ocean. I pushed

away any possibility of a bright side, or a plan to pick up my brokenness, what is the

point i thought? The thought of existence was pointless, I wanted out, and I want it now,

and then the silence. My emotions had reached a frequency that was picked up by my

higher-self ( I had no idea that my higher self existed at this time). Looking back, I can

see the plan my soul had chosen before I incarnated in this lifetime playing out, yet this

information was given to me as I mastered my emotions and at different check points on

my journey of self identity. I was engulfed in emotional trauma at such a high frequency

that this enabled a trigger for my higher self to introduce herself to me for the first time

in this lifetime.

As the silence grew, I felt my heart slow down, and my thoughts subsided,

it was like a peaceful white noise was ever so faint giving me the audio relief from the absolute toxic thoughts that were my normal just moments before. I heard the

most warm presence from the center of my being , like right below my heart and

right above my gut. It was so welcoming I shifted into the fetal position trying to

cling to this voice/presence I wanted to fold into it, it was unlike anything I had

ever felt. I can only remember the truth of this encounter, and snippets, but this

was an undeniable truth that I have experienced personally. The purpose of me

writing this experience, is because I experienced it, I agreed to share it. This was

part of the “deal” or mutual agreement I had made during this encounter. As I laid

there being enveloped by a love that felt like home, I was relieved from all the

discord, the pain just went away, all the darkness was gone, it was a miracle.

After a bit of time passed I was able to unclench and stretch out of my fetal

position, trusting that the energy would not leave me, if I switched positions. I

stretched out, my tent had never looked so beautiful, the weather had never felt

so perfect. I could see the stars in the night sky, as if I had no roof on my tent, but

I did. I did a double take, and my eyes were doing something they had never

done before. If I focused on the roof of the tent, I could see the roof begin to form

back together, but if I focused on the stars, the roof dissolved so that I had a

clear view of the night sky. I played with it for a while, it was so cool, I could see

through the tent. After I became accustomed to the shock and awe sensation, I

shifted my focus back to my solar plexus where this energy seemed to enter

from, and permeated the external environment all around me. I came to a clear

understanding that the energy wanted to engage with me, and I felt as if this

energy was sincerely giving me a choice if I wanted to continue the engagement,

I didn't hesitate, I loved this energy, it loved me back, it was so pure and I had

been so sad, even that which was just minutes before seemed like a lifetime ago,

a distant faint memory, but it was just minutes ago. So without any hesitation I

agreed to engage, the conversation was more like a combination of all my

senses, understanding what was being said, and my physical and emotional

reactions spoke as my responses, so it was the easiest conversation I had ever

had, with no misunderstandings, it was effortless. The energy sounded like a

parallel version or a very vibrant version of myself, the voice I heard. She asked if

I would share this experience, and the message of love, of oneness, of hope, and

most of all change with everyone. There was no hiding anything in this field of

exchange/conversation , it was an immediate vibratory understanding, so the

doubt surfaced. As much as all of this sounded easy enough, I doubted the

message, the faintest aching of my heart thumped for the distant few minutes

that I was recently engulfed in, I felt like I couldn't just spread this message when

that reality was just a blink of a dimension away. I wanted to understand how I

could do that and have anyone believe me, and more importantly how would I

I even believe in that reality. The presence gave me an almost “I thought you’d never ask” type of vibe, and next thing I know I’m spinning fast, I’m flying

through a tunnel of stars, spiraling and spiraling, I wanted to be afraid but the

excitement overruled that thought, I kept hearing look, focus and you will see

what you want to see, where do you want to go, truly your hearts desire I’ll take

you. This way you’ll have a story, a true testimonial of your transformation, a

foundation, it will be the truth, it will be your destiny. I wanted to see my children, I

desperately wanted to hold them, smell them, love them. That instant, everything

went black, and then piece by piece faded in, first the smell, the dawn soap my

mom was using to wash the dishes I could smell the bubbles coming from the

warm water, and then a deep voice that faded in low and grew into its precision

of my step fathers voice, it was the football game, he was yelling at the tv, I

began to remember the last day I visited my children the very day that this

happened, and BOOM I was there. I was back in my moms living room, barefoot

on her fuzzy rug on the floor, I remember the leopard print shirt I was wearing,

and the sound of my daughters being crazy, well Avery was sleeping in my arms,

she was brand new at the time, and my oldest was three at this time, she was

running back and forth from my mom to me, to my step dad, just being herself,

and I relived this day. I was really there, every moment to perfection, I got to see

my children. It was an absolute miracle, I time traveled? Well, needless to say

when I arrived out of the memory, I was back in space, or that's what I’m calling

it. I saw her, the celestial version of myself, she was the most beautiful thing I’ve

seen. She had my daughter's eyes, but the way she moved was playful, vibrant

and she looked like a constellation of stars, that is what she was. I can’t find a

better way to explain it, she was big, but danced around the sky with the lightest

of bounce. She said, you aren’t a failure to me, I began to tear up. I was so

thankful for the opportunity to see my children again. From what I can remember

after seeing my children by time travel, facilitated by a star constellation version

of myself, the doubt that I knew anything at all, about anything just vaporized.

The authenticity of love, and its intentions by far beat any sorrow or despair from

penetrating the truth I just experienced, and so I understood, I was to share this,

with everyone, because I’m not alone in that reality, there are lots of mothers with

aching hearts, there are lots of fathers without any love that loves them

unconditionally, but expected to give it without even ever truly experiencing it

themselves. The massive amount of fear, of not belonging, the lack of

authenticity of who we are, has led to sadness in our hearts that we tuck away

and we ignore this voice, inside of us, the one that's the center of everything, it's

always on your side, that feeling that is always rooting for you, that's always

hoping for you, but usually drowned out quickly by intrusive thoughts. Our minds

are so powerful, but we give them too much power. My higher self, she said,

spread God’s love, through the understanding of your truth, authenticity and love, will always conquer. Use them, be diligent, be patient, be forgiving , be loud, and

master your emotions, be heart coherent, be aware, be in love, play, manifest, be

yourself, love the present, feel the presence, and get experience what your

feeling more than trying to think about what you're feeling, just be present in life.

Spread this frequency of light amongst the world, its Human Solutions, your

experiences and your perspective will be the bridge to the collective, this is how

we connect with humanity through this compatibility of energy, your signature

creates a connection, a bridge to human’s forgotten identity. Your light will remind

them, it'll bring them home.

I want to be clear, I’m not more special than anyone else here, I wasn’t a

chosen one amongst all the people in the world, really I gave up, and a mixture of

science, biology, and spirituality came together one night and it was a perfect

combination to conjure up the truth I’m sharing with you today. The emotional

crisis triggered chemicals in brain to be released, the stress, and the depression,

and my unrelenting need to give up on life, my body fought back, because I am

not my thoughts, although they were so loud and dominating my reality at that

time, there was something else inside of me that I had either forgotten or

completely did not know was there, my heart has its own emotions and ability to

act without the minds approval. I was so stuck in my head in this darkness, that

unconsciously my heart says to my brain to release these chemicals, to help me,

and this was the silence, the calm from the voices, another chemical was

released, I’m convinced that this was the calling of the energy, to help me

transform, to be able to have x-ray vision, time travel, relive memories by my

intention and conscious thought, the ability to fly through space in tunnels made

of stars, and talk to star beings that look like me, and to love, and to be loved.

I know this all sounds wild, but it’s true, my thoughts when I believed them,

I wanted to die, when I followed my heart, I wanted to live, I believed in myself,

and the power of our humanness. Truth is, I could go on and on, and never truly

describe this experience or how incredibly blessed I am to have had it. It was a

gift given to me, to share with the world in hopes that if you find yourself alone

and the world is caving in on you, and you want to give up, or if you feel like

you're out of control in how you feel in your day to day life, you are not alone. I

want to help others identify the windows of opportunity to tune into the frequency,

or the states of their mind that provide the portal to their truest identity. From what

I understand, individual souls hold unique energy signatures that only that person

with that exact signature can provide. The mission here is to connect the dots

kinda like you connect a constellation in the sky, you know the constellation is

there, but it is up to you to look and to make the connection of the different dots

or stars, and see the constellation. So every time your perspective on something

changes, when you can look at something in a different way then you have before, or you truly try to see situations from another's point of view, just by logic,

your vision will change, your experience will change, and thus your life. It’s easier

said than done, just the believing part, because actually experiencing this truest

most highest version of yourself is effortless, it's just believing you can get there.