My butt hurts a little bit from sitting down for so long in this rigid seat and my chest is on fire from this ridiculously oversized crewneck sweatshirt. Were I to remove it, however, this chilly room's icy breeze would certainly worsen my discomfort. Here lies my first paradox, a two-forked road with one path only slightly less intolerable than the other. As I type and type, I grow more and more aware