So I was there. Back out there having sex but this time while living with HIV. It was like a roller coaster. One moment I was into God praying asking him to heal my body from HIV the next I was sleeping around again. What do you do when you are spiritual one moment and fleshly the next? When you're longing for that intimate love. For that love that can sustain and remove all doubt. What do you do when you pray and you don't see the results you're looking for? Do you still trust? Do you let go? Do you hide? Do you believe? Who can you run to? Love is what love does? Was it love or was it lust? Was the pain that deep that made me want to fill that deep? The desperation, the despair, the hopelessness, the anger all while living a normal life during the day. A sane person by day. A hoe by night. Secret society