“One More Day ”
1. The Friendship
We were best friends since 2014,
Shared secrets, late-night talks, every dream.
Now your number’s blocked on my screen,
And ten years died in what words can mean.
We fought like strangers, not like kin,
And the silence left is where I live in.
I mourn you like a death, but you’re still breathing —
Just not in my world. Just not believing
We were ever what I thought we were.
That loss sits heavy. That loss is a blur.
2. The Shrinking Circle
My circle’s smaller than it was before,
Faces fading out my door.
I question who’s a friend, who’s keeping score,
Who’s here for me and who’s here for war.
Every smile gets studied, every hug gets weighed,
Paranoid that love is just a trade.
I sit in therapy and break apart,
Spilling years of shrapnel from my heart.
With meds made stronger to hold the line,
Because the old dose couldn’t touch this kind of time.
3. My Son
I miss my son. He just turned one.
I handed him up when he’d begun.
His birthday came and I wasn’t there
To light the candle or fix his hair.
That grief lives here, under my skin —
A quiet ache I keep tucked in.
No one warns you how love can split,
How your arms can be empty but your heart won’t quit.
I wonder if he knows my face,
If he feels me in some sacred place.
4. Leaving Abuse / Finding Love
I walked away from a voice that cut,
From “worthless” and “nothing” and every gut-punch rut.
From fists that didn’t hit but words that did,
From being small, from staying hid.
Now I’ve found hands that don’t make fists,
A man who’s gentle, patient, insists
I deserve soft. I deserve care.
I deserve love that doesn’t tear.
So I take it slow, because trauma runs deep,
It wakes me up and steals my sleep.
He’s teaching me how trust can grow,
But the roots of fear are hard to go.
5. The Darkest Part
Some nights I want to leave this earth,
To cash out early, to end the hurt.
To quiet the screaming in my brain,
To drown the memories, the grief, the pain.
It feels like nothing’s working out,
Like I’m made of ruin, fear, and doubt.
Like the universe pressed “delete” on me,
And I’m just waiting to finally be free.
6. The Lights That Keep Me Here
But then my daughter says “Mama,”
And the world stops spinning, stops the drama.
My cousins text, “We’ve got ya. We stay.”
Small lights. Small reasons. One more day.
My new love’s hand in mine at night,
Not fixing me, but holding tight.
These are the anchors. These are the proof
That even in wreckage, there’s still a roof.
7. Right Now
I’m not healed. I’m not yet whole.
I’m stitched together, hole by hole.
But I’m still here. I’m still my soul.
I write it down. I let it bleed.
I scream. I shake. I plant a seed.
And for today, that’s all I need.
One more day. One more day.
I choose to stay.