Prayer for Forgotten Dreams
O My Beloved Creator,
My dreams have been packed away so long ago,
beneath my pain.
I thought I had to protect them
From those around me,
who would squash and bruise them
as carelessly as they would kill an insect.
In all those years the dreams have grown
quiet and dusty until I’ve forgotten they were there.
By forgetting, I’d hoped to ease
the pain of their silence and unuse.
Instead the pain had deepened until
it ripped through my body and left a scar on my soul.
Help me now to heal the wounds.
Help me dust off those dreams,
to bring them forth to live again.
So they may breathe and grow and dance in the sunlight.
Help me use them as a message of your love
and for the good of all your world.
Help me to find the courage to believe in them again
and to lead them into your glorious light.
Help me to heal.
Thank you, Beloved Presence.
This prayer, written by Ms. Donna Marquardt, appears in Women’s Uncommon Prayers: Our Lives Revealed. It says, far better than I can, not just how I am feeling in this moment of beginning, but also the season of life I am in, coming off my own annus horribilis, and my dreams for the future.
It may seem odd to begin with someone else’s words, especially since becoming a writer is among my forgotten dreams. The truth is my prayer life has never been particularly improvisational. Being a cradle Episcopalian, I grew up surrounded by beautifully eloquent prayers and liturgy of the Episcopal Church in the Book of Common Prayer. As a result, I’ve never been quite satisfied with my own efforts to talk with God. My prayers are heart-felt to be sure. They also tend to ramble and become unfocused. I find it easier and more practical to use the prayers of others. At least that way I don’t overthink it.
Yet here I am, setting sail on a stream of ink that I’ve described as a faith journey made up of a “vibrant mix of reflections, prayers, study notes, and reviews.” I suppose we’ll see about that. For now, it is enough that I have begun.