A Bad Moment I was lying on a thin mattress on the floor. The cupboards crawled with the glistening black shells of thousands of cockroaches. Had I turned on the light they would have scurried away, but there was no electricity in the apartment. I could see my breath, the place had electric heat. I was two blocks from the bridge. A few years earlier a friend of mine had jumped from that bridge, ending his life. I was considering doing the same thing. The only thing that saved me was knowing that my son would have to deal with that for the rest of his life.