This story is from 2019, a lot has happened in the intervening years, and I'm in a different place One moment: I’m lying against the wall, sobbing so hard I can’t breathe. The tears flow down my face. It’s unexpected, came on suddenly. The result of too many things at once. It’s not about her, not this time. The only thing on my mind is that I wish she was with me, was in my arms.