My next, fresh off the press, journal entry. This one is certainly more hopeful than the last, but it is by no means the turning point I was hoping for.

Exploring the trauma and pain i have been through, not or pity but for the simple hope that my story could possibly help one person see the signs earlier than I did, I want this to open eyes in regards to those red flags you keep making excuses for.

This is just a free place to grown and let God have His way and go beyond the blogs and be the best version

This is for adults only... but I wrote this on one of the nights where your minds starts to wonder and goes places sometimes we can't help.

Everyone thinks that love is a choice or a feeling, but for me instead, it's more than a reason to believe there's a life form, which we don't see wheezing, When eyes first meet, you've planted a seed, watered it with every awkward moment, without a face body or reason, love has sprouted from dirt in your easement, It bends in the wind, it turns in the night, it grows in the silence, without wrong and right, Not bound by skin, nor words we repeat, but alive in the places where two shadows meet, Born not from the ground, blooming so seamless, silence profound, a force understood, with misunderstood language, another lifeform we strive for meeting, All things living carry their end, love no exception, it burns withers and bends, leaving not ashes, but echoes of memories, reminders of a life too vast for our hands.

This is not edited or looked back over; it is just a living poem of my thoughts while trying to describe myself in any way. I do not believe I am anything, but I believe I am everything.

As a child that grew up in unstable environments, thrown into foster care, and abandoned into mental institutions for lack of emotional control and understanding I know first hand how confusing emotions can be. Here’s a quick read about how that worked out and what I learned from it.

The Fears I have vs. what excites me the most. What will I do to conquer my fears and how do I stay positive.

What this journey is teaching me about life, priorities, or resilience. What’s my goals? Any regrets?

How I am feeling carrying my first baby (excited, nervous, curious, etc.). What keeps me going as a young first time mom.

Beyond the tragic overdose statistics lies a deeper crisis: the public's negative perception of drug rehabilitation. This misconception, fueled by a misunderstanding of relapse, skepticism towards effective treatments like methadone, and harmful media portrayals, creates a powerful barrier to recovery. Uncover the multifaceted reasons behind this stigma and discover how a shift in public understanding can pave the way for a more compassionate and effective approach to the substance abuse crisis.

Another journal update that is just me, sitting here in my feelings, trying to figure everything out.

Long-distance love is a unique challenge that tests trust, communication, and commitment. It’s tough but can work with effort and determination.

Loving You Like You Are Still Here. Is a poem about the loss of a partner, Where there are constant reminders that love is still there even after loss.

This short writing serves as a prelude to a much deeper adventure on the ancient question; Are there immutable Morality? If so; Where it comes from?

Lesbians are not what is shown in movies, women making loud aggressive noises and hair whipping and show antics. No women are more sensual with a deeper energy connection. Where intimacy is everything even in her kiss, the ways she walks or drive its when everything She do enlighten your every senses. Learn how to win her mind and watch her surrender and break through her walls.

DEAR ASK A PUNK - I fear I’ve become a cliché. I’m right in the middle of my thirties, and I'm thinking of adding another cat to my apartment. I haven’t had a real relationship in six years and I have pretended that doesn’t bother me. My day job in an office pays my bills, isn’t all that terrible and gives me health insurance (I’m healthy, but you never know) but I see time accelerating and pushing me along with it. I’m definitely NOT flipping out about having a baby as soon as possible or anything, so that’s one cliché I’m avoiding, but after seeing my slightly older friends go unexpectedly baby-crazy I know I can’t rule it out in the future. I guess I’m just feeling like I’m a little bit pointless and I don’t even know that I could figure out a new “direction” even if I had to. What do you think? …Ms. Lost.

I want her to find her tribe—where she feels accepted, seen, and loved for who she is. I’m fearful she’ll be adrift, alone… other, like I was.

This journal entry is as fresh as it gets, as these events just unfolded mere hours ago and the situation itself is ongoing. I made this entry free, so everything can enjoy my pain.

DEAR ASK A PUNK -The summer is almost over and for the first time in my life, I don't have to go back-to-school in September. I graduated last spring from a state college with a standard 4 year degree and then, like every summer before, moved back to my parent's house and got my old summer job back and was just relieved to be DONE with school, but everything got more expensive this summer and I spent so much money on gas going to and from work and out with my boyfriend or friends (we live in the middle of nowhere, so there's a lot of driving) that I've barely saved anything, not enough to move anywhere or make any major changes. Also I haven't yet done any of the stuff you're supposed to do like write my resume or any of that and I don't know what I'm going to do if September rolls around and I'm still working that same job and sleeping in the room I spent my childhood in. It feels like I'm slipping into a vortex. How do I get out of it? …Summer Girl