I've let you go I think?

I no longer dream of arms that were never meant to hold me the way I long to be held.

I don't imagine fake scenarios of us living a life together that was never in the cards.

I don't spend my days wasted seeking approval that doesn't need to be sought.

And yet...

I think of you almost always...

Heavy on the almost because I can go for hours without worrying about what you're up to

along with whichever boy you're now talking to.

I can be with my other friends and not wish to have you by my side.

I can do all of that almost... but every almost has a flip-side.

I can't journal without your name staining my pages.

Every time I listen to a song, i hear your heartbeat beating along.

And I cannot rid myself of the louder thoughts telling me to stop when you are slow to respond.

So maybe i haven't let you go, maybe i'm not even close

but for now i'll take almost.