Borrowed Breath

What happens when wanting someone's love becomes more than a feeling?

Imagine something that wraps around your chest like smoke—soft at first, almost comforting. But the moment you step closer to it, or even reach for it, the smoke thickens. It grows so dense that breathing becomes difficult, sometimes nearly impossible. Every thought begins to feel repetitive, clouded by the same quiet desire: to be wanted.

You never notice it at first. It begins so quietly, so gently, that you mistake it for love.

A small thought about them. Then another. Soon those thoughts form a cycle, repeating in a rhythm that feels impossible to escape. The rhythm grows louder and louder until you can no longer hear your own breathing.

Wanting someone to love you, or even to simply think about you, seems harmless at first. Something small. Something simple. But over time it grows heavier, like a weight pressing down on your chest, until every inhale feels borrowed.

Eventually, everything feels borrowed.

Your confidence.

Your peace.

Even the way you see yourself.

You begin asking the same questions over and over again.

Why don’t they think about me more?

Why don’t they text me first?

Why don’t they like me the way I like them?

At first they are only questions.

But slowly, they begin to feel like answers.

You start to believe that your worth exists only in the moments they give you attention—even something as small as a glance or a smile.

What once felt like hope slowly becomes something else.

Something consuming.

— Azari Nyx

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