People often talk about debt like it's only about numbers. It's always about interest rates, balances, minimum payments, and credit scores. But what doesn't seem to get talked about enough is the emotional aspect, which is just as real.

I got into debt for a mix of reasons. I was trying to build credit, so I got myself a secured credit card. Eventually after being in good standing for so long, I started qualifying for unsecured lines and buy now pay later options. Without keeping track of my spending, I began swiping because I knew I could, and didn't think of the consequences. When it came time for me to pay, I'd realize my balance was low. Then came the emergencies. My cat got really sick and needed constant (and expensive) medical care. I had to travel far and pay for a hotel for my grandmother's funeral. After that, I began needlessly spending for comfort because I was stressed and felt like I had no way of coping. I've got no one to blame but myself, and I know this. It's my responsibility and I own that, but it doesn't mean I'm going to sit around and beat myself up for the mistakes I made.

Being in debt was more than just owing money. It was also fear, shame, guilt, and avoidance. I stopped answering the phone if I didn't recognize the number. If I did pick up the phone, I'd snap at debt collectors because I felt cornered and embarrassed. I felt so out of control that I didn't know how to even begin to help myself.

The worst moment was when I found a summons taped to my apartment door. It was large, impossible to ignore, and anyone walking past could've seen it. It had my full name in large letters and said I was being sued if I didn't handle the balance. It was more than just humiliating to me, it was also terrifying. That was the point where everything felt all too real. I had no idea if they'd garnish my wages or show up to my apartment. I vividly remember googling things like "can I be arrested for not paying debt?", but I still didn't know where to start or how to get out of the hole I dug myself in.

Debt made me feel stuck. It made me feel like I would never have a future outside of it. I'd never buy a house or a car, I'd probably never even get a chance to leave this apartment building or neighborhood. I felt like I was failing at adulthood. I realize now that a lot of people go through this, but at the time I was completely beside myself.

But it's not the end of the world. I'm no longer ignoring the mess I'm in. I'm finally paying off collections, tracking my spending, and building better habits. I ask myself now if I can afford something instead of trying to convince myself I really need it. I also created my own debt tracker in Google sheets after searching for the best debt tracker app and not finding one that suited my needs. Some of my accounts are almost paid off fully now, and some are still getting there, while others haven't even been touched yet because I can't afford to pay them off just yet. It's not instant, but it's progress, and I'm proud to say I'm slowly moving forward.

If someone else is in the same situation, I want them to know that feeling overwhelmed is normal. You're not the only one out there in this hole, and you can climb out of it, one step at a time.

How Debt Affects You Even When You Try to Ignore It

Ignoring debt feels easier in the moment. It tricks you into thinking you're in control because you simply refuse to look at the problem. In reality, it follows you everywhere.

I stopped checking my mail completely. I wanted nothing to do with bills or letters that might remind me of what I owed. I didn't ignore money altogether though. I constantly opened my banking app, refreshing it over and over, trying to see if I had "enough" to buy things I convinced myself I needed. Even when I knew the money should've gone toward my debt, I'd tell myself that if I paid anything, I just wouldn't have enough left for things I wanted. Most of those things weren't even needs, I just didn't want to feel deprived.

Every time the phone rang from a number I didn't recognize, my chest would tighten. Even if I didn't answer, my stomach would drop because I knew who it probably was. I kept spending anyway, thinking that as long as I pushed the thought away, I would never actually have to deal with it. It sounds irresponsible, and it was, but when you're overwhelmed, avoidance can sometimes feel like the only kind of relief you've got.

The stress didn't just sit in my head, it also showed up physically. I got headaches, stomach aches, and was anxious all the time. I'd feel exhausted the moment I woke up and remembered the situation. I stress ate everyday and told myself I'd deal with the consequences later. Every day that I thought about trying to resolve my debt, I'd tell myself it's a "tomorrow problem" and when tomorrow finally arrived, I told myself again, "that's a tomorrow problem". I even remember thinking to myself once, I can never buy a house, and I just have to accept that.

I ignored the bills, I ignored the balances going up, ignored the interest, ignored the warnings. I even ignored the summons for a while. Nothing changed. I just kept telling myself that I'd figure it out eventually.

What made me take action wasn't a phone call or a letter. It was moving from one location to another and realizing I had a chance to start fresh. I simply opened my Credit Karma account, looked at my balances, and figured out how to set up a payment plan. Just one payment plan. It felt small, but it was enough to prove I wasn't powerless. Once I made the first payment, I realized that fixing the mess I got myself in wasn't impossible. I learned that I didn't have to fix everything at once, I just had to do something. I had to make one tiny step forward.

Ignoring my debt didn't make it disappear. All it did was add late fees, interest, and more stress. All it did was make the hole feel deeper and darker, which convinced me I'd never have a real future. But even small steps count. One payment plan became two. Two became three. And suddenly, tomorrow wasn't the answer anymore. I finally made today the moment I started fixing it.

A Shift in My Mindset and Taking Control

Once the first payment plan was set up, the real work was staying consistent. Paying off debt isn't dramatic, and it doesn't happen overnight.

The biggest change was learning to challenge my own habits. I used to spend money the moment I felt stressed, bored, or overwhelmed. I convinced myself I needed every little thing I bought. Now I ask myself one simple question: do I need this right now? Most of the time, the answer is no, and that alone saves me from spending frivolously.

Budgeting turned out to be easier than I expected. Once I wrote everything down, I realized I had more money than I thought. I was simply throwing it away on pointless purchases. I cut down on food delivery, canceled subscriptions I didn't need, and started cooking cheaper meals at home. It did not feel like a punishment. It actually felt relieving, because I finally took control of my finances.

It also helped to track my debt in a spreadsheet that I could update every time a payment went through. Seeing a balance drop, even by a little, made the process feel real and even exciting. For months I lived in fear of looking at my debt, and now I look on purpose because I'm proud to see how much I paid off.

Some things were harder than I expected. Patience is one of those things. When you're on YouTube and you see those videos titled "How I Paid off X Amount of Debt in Y Months", it's easy to feel slow or behind. However, I try to remind myself that even if I'm still in the process of paying my debt off, the timeline is realistic for my budget. Realistic is better than stuck.

What surprises me the most is the emotional weight is disappearing even before the debt is. The shame and anxiety I once felt began to fade the moment I decided to stop running from the problem. My debt still exists, but it no longer controls me.

If You Feel Like Nothing Will Change

Some people look at their debt and convince themselves there's no point in even trying. I used to think the same way. But that mindset is a lie debt whispers when you feel overwhelmed. If you can take one small action, then change is possible. I am still nowhere near finished with my own journey, but I am living proof that progress can happen from the bottom of the hole.

When someone believes they're too far gone, I would tell them this: there is no concrete floor. Debt is not a prison wall. It is a mess, and messes can be cleaned one piece at a time. Even one dollar toward a balance is movement. Even opening a spreadsheet and listing your accounts is movement. You don't need a thousand dollars to start fixing your life. You just need to take one honest step forward.

A tiny step today can look like:

• Pulling your free credit report and seeing everything laid out at once
• Calling a creditor and asking for a payment plan
• Making a small payment (even $5 is progress!)
• Writing down your balances in a spreadsheet
• Sorting debts from smallest to biggest or highest to lowest interest

If someone is scared or ashamed, I would remind them that more people go through this than you think. It's all over YouTube, blogs, forums, and in families that never talk about it. Someone you know is dealing with debt right now. You are not the only one climbing out of the hole. The only difference between someone who gets out and someone who stays stuck is that one of them actually takes a step forward.

I wish someone had explained the basics to me earlier. I didn't even know how to access my collections accounts. I didn't understand that I could set up payment plans or pay smaller amounts if the minimum was too much. I had to figure that part out all alone. A five minute phone call could've saved me months of fear, but I was too scared to even pick up the phone or listen to the debt collectors who called me.

You don't need to fix everything today. You don't need to scrape together a full settlement. You don't need to make the perfect plan. Just take a single action. Put one dollar toward something. Open up a spreadsheet. Look at the balance without closing the app. If you can do that, you've already changed your situation more than someone who keeps waiting for tomorrow.