oh wow!

whoever said college would be the time of my life LIED. 'oh you'll make friends' and 'there are so many fun activities'. okay so where are the cameras?? this isn't funny, maybe it's just the school i go to, but i've realized that making friends, like actual friends, is really hard here. i grew up in a predominately white town in a white, semi-conservative state. now i'm not! it's great, for the first time people have asked me out (mainly for sex) and complimented my curly hair, tattoos, and outfits. even though this is technically a very nerdy school, i feel like i'm definitely not nerdy or smart enough to be here. almost anyone i want to hang out with is super smart, cool, and pretty. I have no sense of my own style since I was bullied in highschool; here, no one cares how you dress or act.

this brings me to my next realization, some people don't have basic social or survival skills. the things that i've seen and heard here make me appreciate my parents (tragic i know). some people here, upper- and under- classmen alike, have no social skills at all. on my dorm floor i get to see it first hand nearly every single day. like why is someone looking at me like i have 9 heads when i'm heating up my dinner in the kitchen (i have accommodations-people don't have social skills); like i'll say hi or make small talk. i dont know how else to say this, but saying 'hi', making eye contact, and keeping public living spaces accessible for everyone is not weird. knowing how to cook, clean, shower, do your laundry, and take care of yourself should not be coveted skills. i knew the world was doomed when the things i thought were common sense, like doing laundry, were very 'confusing' and 'difficult' for students who are studying to become engineers and computer programmers. this is TERRIFYING!!!

the food situation here is also terrifying, let me just say. I've been living off of dorm tofu, frozen vegetables, mini potatoes, hot sauce, oatmeal, yogurt, protein bars, fruit, soup, and eggs. not to mention everything is super expensive and all the dining locations have really odd hours; some locations are completely closed on weekends. the food situation has gotten so dire that i reached out to my fav tofu company to write a love-email in the hopes that they will send me coupons. (please please please) I've started abusing the dining hall as my personal produce market-sorry not sorry! just me and my tote bag going in to steal apples, pears, cucumbers, lettuce, and cooked vegetables, and very occasionally protein. the best meal here i've had was a salad... i'm hungry and lonely, please send help!