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veins hum a hymn

like a preacher under the floorboards.

i chase it anyway

because guilt tastes sweeter

when it numbs the teeth.

i swallow shame like breakfast,

i swallow it again for lunch.

the taste of bleach,

it never leaves me.

and god, please,

forgive me,

for i know exactly what i do.

hallelujah for this body

that obeys and betrays me.

i am confession,

i am ruin,

i am everything you’ll never want to see.

i am the altar.

i am the offering.

i am the shadow

you’ll never want to touch

or ever care to know.