Life. Where do I even begin, it's been rough from the jump, and I keep getting told it gets better. When? Truthfully I am exhausted. I work 40 hours a week, and come home to basically clock back in to take care of the house and my animals. Granted I know, I signed up for them and don't get me wrong I love them with all my heart, and wouldn't trade them. But between taking care of them (23 of them) trying to make it literally fucking anywhere with my art. I'm drowning. I clean multiple times a day, and truthfully most days I don't have the energy or the motivation to feed myself.

My babies are my world, them and my girlfriend.

But I am so scared of losing my battle with mental illness because at this point I don't know what else to do. I am in therapy, I am on medication, I meditate and I try so fucking hard to be happy. But I'm not, and I'm tired. I don't want to live like this. I have constant chronic physical pain. I have overwhelm sadness or numbness at all times and I don't know what to do from here.

I want to be a full time artist, and own an animal sanctuary. And I am trying so hard to make a name for myself it's been 7 years I've been pursuing this, and I'm good. So why can't anyone else see it?

Why am I still so alone?