The Hermit

And suddenly I just stopped

I stopped always running away

Took a seat in front of the mirror

And forced me to stay.

Whoever she was

Staring back in the reflection at me

It was time I came to know her.

Time, I set out on this journey.

It’s time for me to be brave

About the path I must now take

It’s going to be a hard one

with everything I know and love at stake.

I have spent too much of my life

Never asking her a single thing

She has never been given her own voice

Never allowed to stand up and sing.

Who am I to silence her

And never hear what she has to say

I don’t want to find my whole life was a lie

When I go to meet death someday.

So, I guess it’s now or never

I have no idea who I will find

And if I don’t just take this leap

I will easily change my mind.

What if no one loves her

The real person I am in there

What if I realize I am broken

Too far gone to ever repair.

And what if the monster I think I am

Is exactly who I become

And I am completely unworthy

Of any even remotely good outcome.

Suppose I lose everyone I love

And everything I have come to know

What if I become consumed entirely

By what lives and breeds in my shadow.

I may come to the conclusion

I am really not enough at all

And what if I come to see

I have already missed my call.

How will it feel

If I must dismantle my very core

If I find what I truly feel

Doesn’t align with those around me anymore.

Then I must seek a whole new tribe

start my life all over brand new

with no familiar faces

to help get me through

How much of my existence

Until now has really been a lie

Will I recognize any of the old me

Or is this our final goodbye?