The voices she hears It started when she was 9 years old..life was what she thought was easy and fun, but little her didn't understand what was truly happening. She was bullied everyday without knowing it she thought they were just kidding or messing around. She was treated unfairly and misunderstood, she was labeled annoying, fat, stupid, useless. All she wanted was a friend, all she wanted was to make everyone like her..she felt so stupid because she never understood school she didn't grasp things like other people, that's not what she was put here for. At 10 she was raped by her older brother, the only person who knew was her sister.. Her brother used to tell them they were going to play a game. The game was ‘House’ he would pick one of them to be the wife and the other one to be the child.. It started off normal. They would pretend to go shopping and they would make up a whole story to go along. When it was time for “bed” is when it would happen.. He would make them lay in bed with him and then he would start touching them. He always told them not to tell their mom but they don't know why they didn't understand what he was doing, but i don't think he knew what he was doing either.. Did he feel bad? Did he know he was taking away their innocence and childhood? Or did he just not care. It happened for a couple years until she finally realized what he was doing,she didn’t know what to do .. how was she supposed to tell anyone her brother has been raping her for years?She started seeing the school therapist to try to help her but she was very aware she could only say very little because they would tell her parents and she had started a bad habit she didn’t want anyone to know about.. She started cutting herself. It took her pain away, it made her feel like she was in control. She could feel the anxiety leave her body as the blood dripped off her arms. She knew what would happen if anyone found out.. She would be called a freak and everyone would make fun of her. If her parents found out she would be in big trouble she knew they would accuse her of doing it for attention. But she knew they wouldn't understand how much it helped her..how much she needed it she would do it any time she felt anxious or sad. It didn’t hurt it felt good