welcome back to the shit show! week 3 wow! I hate it here omg!!! the only thing keeping me here is my scholarship; and because my mom would send me to a psych ward if i came back home. biomedical sciences as a form of study used to be fun, i mean i loved it for the past 3 years, but now, im bored with it. i've always wanted to be a lawyer or do something in international business or economics. my mom would literally murder me if i switch to a non-stem major but at this point, what do i have to lose? my favorite classes are applied calc and history of us foreign relations for gods sake. im depressed, lonely, not having fun, and intellectually bored. in fact, i'm so bored that i'm constantly exhausted; dw i checked my iron levels and they are somehow great for a mostly plant based person. dear tofu, i love you.

i taught my first yoga class, mind you it's supposed to be power yoga, and i bombed it so fucking bad omg!!! i'm a 200 hour registered yoga teacher and i've been practicing fast-paced, up-beat vinyasa with a twinge of pilates for about a year now. my teaching program taught me to teach vinyasa and hatha classes; so i taught a core focused 'power' vinyasa flow. this was not the right group for that- this is totally on me-oopsie. after my shit show of a class, the leader of the club came up to me and told me i could teach a more advanced class since this is just more of a stretching club. live laugh fuck my life!

i would like to personally thank hulu for releasing season 5 of slomw this week. this is the only thing keeping me afloat right now. beyond the embarrassment of my yoga class flop, my mom told me it was my fault that i'm not enjoying college. i try to be as nice, welcoming, open, and understanding to everyone here because i'm so desperate to make friends. so many people here already had friends before coming here or are in sports, roommates, friends within their majors, or are in clubs that really emphasize getting together. sorry i don't play video games, pro sports, religious, or watch anime. the one 'friend' i made ditched me the minute i got sick and couldn't hang out. fuck you SIBO! (as you can tell, my stomach hurts a lot) almost everyone else i talk to here, especially in my classes, uses me for the answers then don't speak to me outside of that. i thought college was supposed to be full of opportunities to make friends? what am i doing wrong?