Today wasn't an amazing day for me. My partner and I couldn't seem to get along, my son was sick with a gnarly cold and my mental wellness was at a 3/10 at best. We got up at a decent time (probably 8:00 am or so) and AJ and I were intimate before leaving bed, he ate me out for like twenty minutes (I know, I'm lucky) and we started having sex-- and of course, that's when SJ woke up and started making noise. AJ tried to keep going (our roommate/my father changed and fed SJ) but the small child noises were a distraction, so it was time to get out of bed... (lol)

Anyway... Once we got out of bed we got dressed, obviously, and I got SJ dressed to go to Innisfil. We were going to pick up a mechanical part my partner needs for tomorrow when he goes and does some cash work. The drive there was peaceful because my son slept soundly the whole way and we even managed to pick up the part we needed and drove over to Princess Auto in Barrie before he woke up. But that's when things got rough. SJ recently caught a gnarly cold, so he was inconsolable at times. He only wanted to be held, the problem is he wanted to be held by my father, who did not come with us for the journey. I held myself together for a good portion of the day, but, my partner was getting worn out which made him miserable (sorry, babe) and my son was continuously crying regardless of what I would do to help him. I did all the things; clean diaper, medicine, water/fluids, food/snacks, AND warmth (but not too much though)... It was at the point where there was nothing I could do but let him cry and hold him when he got too worked up, which was fine until he was crying, I picked him up and he gagged on his mucus and puked down the front of himself AND me. THEN I was done. I had enough. My partner was being "a dickhead" in my words, and i was covered in toddler vomit.

I smoked a joint and just tried to cool down a little bit. AJ's mom was awesome about it and she talked me down and showed me the kindness and understanding that somehow her son lacks.. and then I was okay enough to just go home. I got home and my dad took SJ for a while so I could take a breather. I took him back to feed him some supper and he was screaming and crying in my arms so like any sane human being, I kind of raised my voice (not out of anger, just to get his attention) and my dad yelled at me telling me to stop yelling at my child (which A) I fucking wasn't, and B) he was yelling at me when he said it, ironic as fuck if I do say so myself), so I explained that I wasn't and he got aggressively snippy with me. I just looked at him like "what the hell are you doing" to which he responded,

"Oh get over yourself with that bullshit look." Whatever that's supposed to mean.

I made us all something to eat and we kind of parted ways, dad went to his room and AJ and I hung out in the livingroom for a bit while SJ laid in bed. SJ started crying and so i put him to sleep and here we are, I'm sitting in bed before 10 pm on a Saturday night because my life is dull and overwhelming at the same time.

'Til next time,

Bunnyy <3