Five hundred words.

What are you going to reach with five hundred words. Think of the journey your going to be taking the world on. First off you can shutoff that voice in your head. That one there… You know what I mean. The one that is saying your not good enough to write. That your not going to make it where you want to. It’s the doubt. It’s the fear. It had swallowed your soul and consumed it. Is there anyway that you can pull yourself free from the tar pits you fell into. How much breathe do you have left before you cease to exist. You would cease to exist but your body would continue on for however many years left. To reach this point we are really are frogs boiling in water. Adjusting ourselves to match a poisonous environment that is killing us. When we realize that we are dying it is too late too move. Perhaps I am past saving. I stayed in the pot for a decade. I’d take strike after strike upon my soul to stay in the pot after each asking how many can I take until I die. How many times can I stand taking abuse before I believe it. How long till I just choose not to do anything. I hit that point. I was far past dead waiting out my days or theirs. Everything just became waiting game for death as I chose not to live. By all means I should still be in the pot waiting until I died. It was the consistent grabbing at my legs by a friend while I held onto the burning pan. Until,I finally decided to let go and allow them to save me. The issue I am faced with though now is I am past the point of saving but no longer in the pot. Each day I grow slightly stronger. Each day I realize I no longer feel the oppressive nature of my old environment. Realizing my life can no longer be about just waiting for my death because I want to live. How? The wounds left upon me has left me crippled. I know the answer. The truth is that I entirely know the answer. I have to do the rehab and do the work. Take whatever small steps that I can in order to maintain and improve. I don’t have to like it. Liking it or not is not going to change it the way things are. Its not going to change the broken limbs for a person in hospital bed just as it won’t change a broken mind. To make the most out of what you have in your situation is all to do. No no. It’s easy to be dishonest with yourself to make it seem better. Wait, hold on that train of thought isn’t fair either. It’s going to be both. Both. Times where your mending and healing enjoying life which will be more and other times.