I sobbed into your arms. Even though we worked so hard on building our lives together, we were separating. I hugged you as you said your final goodbyes. You cupped my cheeks and kissed me. This was such a sad moment for the two of us. As we embraced each other briefly, you let go. You put your forehead on mine and told me that this was for the best. As the wind blew harder outside, my heart sank. This really was goodbye, wasn’t it? I can’t save us. No matter how hard I tried, you were sure that this was the right choice. I begged you to stay, I promised to be better. I did everything I could to convince you to not leave me. As your hand slipped out of mine and you gathered your things, my tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. You looked back at me and hesitantly opened the door. You didn’t stay any longer. As the door shut behind you, I collapsed to the ground. Sobs filled our empty home. We built this together. We painted these walls and decorated them with happy memories that we made together. All of this was so special to me. I thought it was special to you, too. My thoughts became jumbled and my chin quivered. My body trembled and I just let myself go. My head exploded with pain and my tears would not stop. I covered my face and wailed. 

When you shut the door, you went to your taxi and put your stuff in the back seat. You sat in the passenger seat and gave the driver directions. I watched as you left with a puff of gas. The clouds drained themselves. As it rained, you looked back at our house. You looked forward again and started crying. You gripped your shirt and dried your tears. You had to get over this. You believed that I would be alright and that it wouldn’t impact me or hurt me. You were wrong, dearest. 

I sat and cried for hours after you left. I cried until I couldn’t bear to shed another tear. I moved to our old bed and slept. It was so cold without you warming it. I missed the way you would hold me in your arms and make me feel safe in the nights I was scared. I knew I wouldn’t wake up to your beautiful face. I always admired how peaceful you looked when you slept. This house is no longer the same. It has crumbled and fallen. We built our memories on shaky ground. I miss the nights where we would stay up together, talking. We did nothing else but talk. We would converse for hours on end, laughing and sharing our feelings with each other. I will never forget how soft your skin was and how gentle you were with me. You cared for me whenever I needed it and I did the same for you. I thought our love would last forever, what happened? Why did you leave? My questions were never answered. I awoke to my head pounding and my stomach tumbling. I ran to the bathroom and vomited. Our bathroom was dimly lit and it had the mirror hanging on the wall that we picked out together. I sat on the floor, tears starting to brim at my eyes. I laid down and cradled my legs, my tears now falling. I missed you dearly, I never figured out how this was 'better for us.' It was just too much pain to bear. I will never forget that painful day.. How much it hurt me. It still hurts me to this day and the heaviness in my heart still remains. I never stopped loving you, but you stopped loving me. I love you no matter what, darling. I promised that, and I always keep my promises.