If you could write a letter to yourself as a child, what would it say? Mine would read like weeds growing from the cracks of sidewalks covered in chalk. 

Dear little Cassie, one day he will come. One day you’ll find the one to save you from your prison. One day you’ll have risen so far up that they can’t hurt you anymore. You’ll score that goal, you’ll play the role you were always meant to star in. One day, the war in your mind will quiet. One day, your soul will no longer riot, heart rotting away in your cage of flesh. One day, a broken match that’s barely lit will flit and flicker your way, to light the fire in your heart again and he will stay. One day, you’ll say I do, for the last time too. I always knew my path was long but I never knew it could go so wrong, so grow. Grow like a dandelion, between the cracks of broken rocks ever reaching toward the sun. Because one day he will come. Like fire and whiskey, on bended knees he will pray to you, for you. And if you only knew how beautiful he is. His heart is full of chaos and broken dreams and though it seems you are both lost, you still found each other. So stay. Put down the knives and pills and guns and run towards the ever lasting sun in the distance, because the only way out is through. Run through the desolate scenery onto beautiful greenery and remember, stop to smell the flowers. Remember that power blooms within you, you are powerful and wise and you will rise from the ashes of the fires that they lit. Know that this is not all it will be. Have faith in the universe to guide you to your peace where you belong. Let him stand beside you and fill your cup and lift you up until you can touch the stars, swirl your fingers in the galaxy of his soul and let him love you wholly. Let him in, let him break down those walls and as they fall, let him feel your emotions. Let the waves of their oceans crash into and over you, let the tears ebb and flow from your tired eyes. For that is where your healing lies. Within his heart and yours, so please. Let him win your heart, and do not startle when it falls into place. Make space for yourself within to grow and learn and heal and feel and be real with yourself. Heal for him, but of utmost importance, heal for you too. Oh little Cassie, I know how terrifying it is to walk alone so since I’m grown I’ll walk with you. Hand in hand, standing tall and bracing for the fall, for we will always get back up. While he fills my cup I’ll pour into yours so together we will never empty. I know it’s hard to see how beautiful life can truly be, but I promise you, that you will.