The feeling of being loved is strange.

Sometimes it is questionable and sometimes I feel rather undeserving.

I feel as if I am a villain and causing harm to those I love.

The feeling of being loved feels as if I am an imposter.

The feeling of being loved is a high, full of hope and fear to disappoint.

This is what feeling loved does

I am happy with love but I question that I am unworthy

I understand I am worthy.

I understand and know that I am loved

I feel like I don't give enough

yet I am drained nonstop, so I only have as much honey to go around.

it's like it's never enough.

It's constant guilt, the constant feeling of inadequacy.

The rush and the love is there but I fear

when will they get angry at me.

I am docile and easy to get along with because I am deeply lonesome sometimes

yet I rather be alone.

But you,

you make those voices stop.

I forget to to turn the lights on and invision

dad smiling, my sister's grin, my grandma proud of me

my dog is safe, my bothers are well and everyone's

happiness shared with me.

This is what feeling loved feels like,

remembering happiness and wanting to reciprocate

feeling that I'm enough and life is worth it.

My battles are worth it for them.

Feeling loved is the feeling of being nurtured and educated by those around you.

Feeling loved is being supported with them shining their lights on to you when you admit yours is shattered

when they try to fix your light because you cannot see what is in front of you when you are lost and feel alone

gravitating towards your brightest lights even if it's a candle to make a wish onto.