Who am I becoming? Who is this character I possess the emotions of?

I feel powerful, unstoppable; one who does not possess such “labor of love”.

But there is a hinderance. Can I continue this riveting feeling?

What of morality? Can it exist when this feeling is so appealing?

Should I embrace this? I want to embrace it without restraints.

I want to feel the power over another coursing through my veins.

I want to feel the calm heartbeat of control pulsating in my fingertips.

I will no longer be the subject that shows fear, but the one to produce it.

My power and control will reflect in the eyes of those who plead forgiveness.

I will swell with peace as the blood of those who oppose me decorate my dress.

Closing my eyes, I feel their last breath of struggle and my first of rebirth.

As a beautiful melody of righteousness around my being it engulfs.

Engulfed in the winds as in the eye of a hurricane though not fully at peace

As my side bleeds with the stab of guilt and struggle that will not cease.

I can become this, but it is difficult. How did I get here to this power lust?

How does anyone get here? The lack of morality and the misplacement of trust.

Why is my lack of morality stunning? Why these actions I cannot condone?

Why can I not fully embrace the actions of another as my own?

Am I a good person? No one is truly good, yet I am still held back

Bound by my conscience. My mind battles itself and is under attack.

The battle of good versus evil. The battle of vengeance versus healing.

Who am I becoming? I look in the mirror and I’m not sure who I’m seeing.

My face, my body, but the eyes belong to the man who lacked morality

The man whose lack of that morality brought me to this place of such uncertainty.

I try to escape him, yet he still holds me captive, my soul and my thoughts.

Is one truly ever set free? Can the traumatized ever really untie the knots?

Is our only choice to embrace the darkness we have been introduced

Or to constantly fight to escape that darkness they produced?

I have tried to escape, but the darkness will always follow.

Is it not time to embrace it? But why does that also feel hollow?

If only I could find the one thing that can defeat this darkness: the light.

Does it really exist? Is it more powerful than the darkness that holds so tight?

If there is such light, then there is the existence of morality also.

Is not this the reason I struggle with embracing this unforgiving power I crave for?

It must exist or my conscience would not know how to reach out for it.

I won’t give up my search for this releasing light. I am determined to find it.

Then I will be set free. After all, is not everyone on a quest of their own?

A quest for instead of stumbling in the darkness, the light to be shown

The light of love and truth and trust. One can indeed be blessed.

If only for that redeeming light, he does not abandon the quest.