Life is a b**** they let me out on PR Bond but they want me to pay all this s*** it's like a guarantee to go back to jail I don't know what they expect from me it's like they want me to sell dope I ain't about to do it no more man this s***'s beyond me man I can't do this s*** it's like they want me to fail which I mean in retrospected his day job ain't to want me to win I guess but I don't know I'm just trying to go with the flow stay focused on the present stop stressing over the future and worried about all my past mistakes but I don't know what to do man I'm applying for job but everything is slow motion ain't nothing fast in the fast s*** it don't never last ends up with you locked up so I'm like stuck between a rock and a hard place trying to figure out what the next step of my life is going to be and I don't know which way I'm going man I've been trying man been trying to stay out of the game I mean I dibble and dabble got back in it a little bit because of course all it is is one phone call away from me All I got to do is make a phone call and they going to drop something off man every time I'm good at what I do but at the same time I hate it man I don't want to do this s*** I just want something worthwhile something I can look back on and say damn I finally made it make my mom happy Make my people happy and get out of this damn lifestyle s*** is for the birds straight up ain't nothing sweet I'll be watching these m************ out here acting like this s*** sweet out here like you won't end up dead or in jail like n**** y'all are f****** 40 50 years old still hustling the same zippers don't make no sense to me how m************ can assume that this s*** is cool and then they got girls that look at them like it is cool ain't doing nothing but hurting any m************ ass because they don't need to be thinking that this s***'s sweet but that's not my business so I don't know why I even think about it but I'm not trying to be that dude that's 40 years old selling zip I'm trying to be a dude 40 years old that's got a good gig got a crib got everything situated and s*** living life chilling relaxing I don't know why I thought it was going to be smooth sailing when I got out I knew it should have been I knew I should have thought it was going to be trials and tribulations cuz that's all life is trials and tribulations this s*** is difficult man I'm stressed out to death and trying not to act like I'm stressed out cuz other people going to be sad if I'm stressed and I ain't trying to make other m************ up s*** but damn I'm stressed the f*** out man Don't know where I'm headed I know I want to be successful I say it everyday I got mantras and affirmations I speak all day everyday try to focus my energy on the present moment so I can manifest something beautiful but everything just seems like it's going to hell man I don't want to end up back in jail man but I don't know what's coming man I hope everything works out Hope everything becomes easier but right now ain't no telling I wish I would have changed my life around a long time ago then I wouldn't have to deal with these problems that I got going now but of course I'm hardheaded and I had to learn the hard way when people kept telling me n***** they ain't going to be cool it ain't going to be sweet I don't listen My whole life I've had old schools in my corner telling me you going down that road it's hard to get out of it's hard to get off this road when you get on it it's a long winding m*********** and this m*********** won't stop it's like p Diddy can't stop won't stop bad boys baby you saw what happened to that m*********** and my m************ ass keep thinking I'm going to find a way out of it this s*** is dead like it's dead there's no getting out of it somebody fronts you so you can owe them and you can stay in the game That's the whole point of it let me front you this so you can think that you making money when actually you making bills for yourself and you just build them up building them up ain't nobody able to pay back when they get these damn fronts That's the whole point of the game to keep you stuck in it it's a revolving door that just keeps going and going and going you won't never get out but you get used to a lifestyle you start falling in love with it you think it's sweet think it's cool then you just keep doing it so at the end of the day no matter what you ain't going to think about it you just going to run with it until somebody pop you in your s*** then Itll be a rap ain't s*** in this world free ain't s*** in this world sorry for saying the same word but ain't s*** in this world sweet everything's based on hard work dedication and getting through trials and tribulations I guess and I've been through a whole lot of s*** man and I guess I made for going through s*** because God just keeps throwing it at me like here you go smoke s*** n**** you some more for you here's some more I know there's got to be something better at the end of the road because man I've been going through s*** my whole life not saying it's not my fault neither because I blame myself for everything I could have listened when I was a kid and went to school instead I wanted to get my GED when I was 23 and get my head out my ass when I'm 29 but like I said I need to stop looking at the past don't think about it focus on the present loan cuz that's where we at and I need I need to find some joy out of this situation or something because I don't like stress find some kind of way to be joyful for this s*** but again I don't know how can you find joy out of s*** The only time I got joy out of s*** is when I was taking a s*** now it's cuz I was released and I need a release that's what I'm doing right now by talking I guess this is going to make me joyful talking my ass off they ain't nobody listening cuz I'm talking to my damn self acting like a crazy person but I guess all smart m************ talk to theyself That's what some people say and if that's the case I got to be a smart m*********** cuz I talk to myself a shitload all the time I'm always having conversations with myself that voice in my head trying to get that m*********** gum because that m*********** always talking s*** I always telling me the wrong s*** like I don't want to hear that negativity today voice get me some positivity and you going to be successful you going to be rich sooner or later this s*** will be over this is just another hurdle to jump instead that voice want to say a n***** you going back to jail a n***** you know times running out they n***** what you going to do about this hey n***** stress you need to stress because you don't stress you going to be out on your ass That's what it says to me all the time that's why I try to shut that m*********** up man I don't I want to hear quiet up there That's all I want to hear quiet cuz that voice ain't no good for me that voice tell me the wrong s*** but I just keep going and trying man I ain't going to stop life don't stop until you dead and even death ain't no ending cuz we forever and I know I'm 29 man I feel like I'm 40 I feel old as hell I don't know if stress wears you down or I just been doing too much with my body or I ain't been taking care of myself whatever it is but man I feel old bro I just want to break and I know I ain't going to get one because I ain't do for one I got too much to accomplish I can't take no breaks breaks are for b****** and I ain't no b**** I guess I know I ain't no b**** I ain't no guess about that but yeah man