The Tool Song (2024 rewrite)
I originally wrote this song back in HS when I was bored in class one day. I think this was in 2011. I was in a band at the time and we rehearse it, like, twice (which I recorded). I decided to rewrite the song a little for Girl's Best Friend (my fake band)'s newest album. So, without further ado, here are the lyrics:
If Luis Miguel be your God,
Then you'd better play every COD
If you fear oranges than you are a fool (unless you are allergic)
Don't be a pussy just be a tool!
Chorus
Tool tool tool tool I am a tool
Tool tool tool tool I am a tool
Tool tool tool tool I am a tool
Sitting in Spanish really gotta pass
If the teacher fails me I'll kick her ass
Got two of every 3DS, even ones with no 3D
Now I'm gonna go home and become Bruce Lee
Chorus
Slick my hair back and have a goatee
Sit at home for hours blasting Glee
Cut ahead in line and never pay tips
Kiss every taken girl right on the lips
Guitar Solo
Salute the flag if you're about to die
If you're an American, eat some pie
If the government comes knocking at your door
Hide it all cause you won't get more!
Final Chorus (ramps up in speed and then slows for final line)