““Jesus, V! It was one dinner! One dinner with my brother, your uncle, by the way!” As if I had forgotten, had a momentary lapse in memory out of which poured this devil child called V. “You shouldn’t use the lords name in vain, mom.” Dad smirked in the corner before turning to moms apparent helplessness and adding…

When I awoke I remembered everything. It was as if sleep itself were an act of procrastination and my guilt was due. I didn’t intend on staying in this bed any longer than was absolutely necessary to ensure I left no trophy’s, and while I’m sure he’s a great and honorable man it’s generally good practice to minimize the number of great and honorable men in possession of my underthings.